Mega Flare! A Final Fantasy Big Bang

Happy to report that my hockey team is on to western conference finals! I had a thought that if Winnipeg wins their series then mala_14 and I will be rivals for approx 10-14 days but then a Canadian team would be in the Stanley Cup for SURE and that would be awesome. Of the six teams still playing, we have played 3 of them, two in finals before. We shall see how the next days play out.

Also happy to report that I have gotten my dishes down to ONE countertop, and the other one I pulled everything off and wiped down last night. What's left is a few big things, but I am so close to finishing them for really reals. Only to make new dishes, but it's fantastic seeing the evidence of deep depression melting away.

On Friday I was watching a video when I got home, but I did take my buttski into the kitchen and washed a pan of dishes before making Tumblr's best grilled cheese sammich for dinner. I'd have to dig up the link, but the overview is LOTS of butter (no skimping!), a sweet element (honey), a tart element (dijon mustard), an herb (dill), and at least 2 cheeses. I only had one, but it was still delicious. My honey was mostly solid and only a tiny bit liquidly, but I got enough to enjoy a sweet pop here and there. Very yummy, yes. Then I grabbed the last bit of whatever fabric I'd used to make a pair of Pietra pants and cut out Loretta shorts. I have enough to make the bib as well, but I don't need that right now so I left it uncut.

On Saturday I woke up with a strong pulling in the left side of my throat when I swallowed so I forwent coffee and had tea. (GASP SHOCK) Made myself PB & saskatoon jam toast for breakfast and then sat down to sew. Shorts are now in two halves, awaiting a zipper for the back (grump grumble I have thicc zippers and invisible zippers but no regular zippers. I intend to correct that as soon as I am able). It IS easier to do the zipper while the pieces are still separate OK FINE I ACCEPT THAT bc I totally did it for the Millicent skirt hehehe. I pinned it together for a very careful try on and... I think it's gonna be too big. Nuts! Easy enough to adjust probably but... nuts. Spent the rest of the day in increasingly pretzelly positions on the couch playing video games, until dinner time when I made spaghetti sauce and pasta, and washed another pan of dishes. Then I had insomnia so I was up until something silly like 330 AM reading fanfic.

Hockey game WAS tied but the Knights scored at literally at the last second and won. Nuts.

Yesterday the pulling was gone, so coffee time it is! I'd forgotten the iron was still plugged in but that was OK because I needed to steam the waist of the slip, so that's now done. I sat down to trim down a skirt pattern but oh, I already did that! So after I finished my show, I taped it together and put it away. Put a couple other patterns away. Then cut a Barbara bodice to test. I did a straight size 10 D/DD and it's a little too big at my chest for an un-supported look, so I put on a store-bought bra and that was then too tight bc this bra does not fit me well above the bust apex. Band and wire sizes, perfect 10/10 no notes, but the cups have SO MUCH ROOM above the apex I could definitely have fit kittens in there and I should have tried when they were still small enough to do little more than stare at me. It came so high on my chest that it was digging into my arms. Finally had enough so... I pinned out a tuck, did some stupid fiddly cutting, struggled HARD with getting my machine to stitch through 1/4" of foam (turns out I just needed to use a 100/16 needle instead of my usual 80/12) and it's far from the prettiest thing but now I have a bra that doesn't try to sever a limb. I WILL get new ones (this one is already several years old, and I absolutely plan on salvaging the wire and elastic) soon, but for now, it works.

By then is was around 430 so I decided it was time to get dinner underway. I tried out the multi-cooker my dad gave me, an absolutely massive not-InstaPot, to pressure cook some beans. And you know what, it worked. 20 minutes and they were perfect. Made chili and cornbread and washed TWO pans of dishes. The rest of my evening was more video games.

I am on vacation again next week. No plans to do anything but stay home. Obviously want to sew all the things!!! I do need to get started on the pockets for my side gig (hehe) and that is easy weeknight sewing. I want to get a cutting mat to make many things easier, including that. Just need to decide on what to do! My plan is to NOT be sick so that I may enjoy every day and not spend it in bed wishing I didn't hurt so much. We'll see how well I manage that lol.

Therapy was ok I guess. I know I'm stuck in a rut bc I've barely touched my dishes in 2 weeks and I am running out of things, like plastics and small plates and coffee mugs. What might be bothering me, you ask? (gestures to say "all of this") You got me. I'm fairly confident it's not one specific thing but a pile up of everything. Politics, knowing a lot of people don't vote past the ends of their noses, the continuing horrors, some money pressure (which is never about the actual money but still impacts me)... it's a lot. I go home and I sit down and I don't get back up except to scrounge a dinner and go to bed.

My therapist said some of her clients think that she'll tell them what to do. No, she said, YOU'LL tell yourself what to do, and that is so true. I know I just need to start and the rest will fall into place, and I guess I just needed to hear her say that back to me.

So, I got one pan of dishes washed, a hodge-podge of items. Scooped the cat box. Dinner was cheese and tomato tostadas, and while they baked I got out some fabric. A pale blue and white stripe that doesn't have a whole lot left so can't really be anything but a shirt of some sort, and a red plaid. I thought it was poly, but as I handled it I said (out loud) "this feels like wool." So I cut a small piece and burned it -- ignited and burned for a brief moment and extinguished. SMELLED LIKE DEATH. Oh god, that's poly! But then I tried crushing the burned bit and it crumbled into dark ash. Hmmm... no, poly would have kept burning and have no ash, this really didn't burn at all. So I tried again and same results. Y'all, I haven't burned wool in so long that I forgot how bad burning hair smells. It's wool!

I got it from a destash, so measured it and there is only 84cm of 56"-60" wide (the length is scientific, the width is not). Definitely has the feel of someone who bought only a small amount while travelling and never decided what to do with it until it no longer held any meaning for them. Not to worry my unknown friend, I will transform this into a piece worthy of the sheep whose wool became plaid.

Or not. I'm not the boss of you.

So, what can I do with a small amount of plaid?

ANYWAY by then the hockey game was on. I put one needle of thread into the cross stitch piece (with my handy dollar store glasses), knitted two rows on my newest socks, then played a video game until the battery was running very low. By then it was intermission so I took myself to bed, where I discovered that I could play phone games while the audio ran in the background. Another intermission bc the game ran into overtime and I just wanted to sleep but I can't, the game is on... (memories of 2006 when one game went into THREE overtimes before finally ending at 1-something in the morning) but then my boy Leon scored and I spent about 5 mins being very excited before crashing out.

Yesterday I sat down with my budget spreadsheet and my tracking app and I went through every single item in both to verify everything had been accounted for. This is a three-pay month and the last one was accounting for bills. There's never a "free" cheque, it just changes the way I distribute the next one(s). With the insolvency, this is kind of a soft reset for my budget. This next one won't have some of the big ticket items like my car insurance, but I need to account for XYZ recurring expenses because the first June cheque won't be until AFTER mostly everything is due again.

Weekend time at last. I need to get through one more week of too-low-to-be-useful bank balance (rather: I have payments coming out on *Thursday* when I get paid on *Friday* and I'd really prefer not to be hit with NSF fees) so I ought to do some actual meal planning. I have... very little but I can still make a few banging meals! Ideas: mushroom pasta in red sauce with cheese. Veggie chili (just need to make beans, which I never remember until I am already at work) and cornbread (all GF). Granola. Many rice noodles and rice, and I at least got sesame oil in my last grocery run so I can make some asian flavoured things. I have rice crackers and nuts for snacks. There's still a couple things of bacon in the freezer, plus a couple chicken portions. There won't be a lot of *variety* but I shouldn't waste away.

I thought I had forgotten my therapy appointment yesterday until I saw the session link for noon at 11:34. I panicked into rushing for a meeting room and woe, I didn't have anything to support my phone at a reasonable angle and AAAAHHHHH.

JK, it's for today. She even said in the email "TOMORROW" and I skipped right over that. Whoops.

Not sure what we'll talk about yet. I was fired up about leaving work last time and that rage has cooled a fair bit. Probably some variation on "i get home and I get on the couch and then I don't leave until its time for bed" and I'm not doing things I need to do (like dishes) or want to do (like sewing).

I mean, it's my session so I can talk about whatever I want. But this is starting to bug me, so what am I REALLY experiencing right now that is preventing me from this?

Hockey game tonight and I've been enjoying listening to them, the whole 2 games I've listened to so far. Perfect opportunity to do stuff, since listening to something while working on something with my hands that doesn't require more attention (like reading) than the listening provides has, historically, worked well for me.

Nothing planned for the weekend as yet, it would be great if I could do some stuff for myself to head towards that lovely future I have envisioned.